Motherhood is definitely one of the toughest, yet most beautiful experiences we will ever go through as women. The sudden change of lifestyle, commitments, hormones, and even relationship dynamics can be very hard for some of us to bear, and there are many who have the support of a loving partner, great family and friends who they can turn to for guidance, a shoulder to cry on and even childcare, and then there are many that are parenting solo 0 completely solo. Estranged family members, family that live abroad, no partner or spouse andmaybe even no friends. So here is some crucial advice for mothers who are parenting with very little or no support.
1. Find a Network That Works
So usually grandparents are the go to fo some free childcare, but on some occassions that option isn't there. If you have nobody to lend a helping hand then start working on building a network ot trusted individuals who you can possibly exchange sitting duties with. This way you do not have the added pressure of sitter costs and you will also be able to build on your friendsips with the other parents at the same time.
2. Loosen Up
At times our expectations of ourselves and others can take over and completely overwhealm us. When you're feeling frazzled try and take a step back, reflect and put things into perspective. When you take a minute to work out and perhaps look at things differently it reduces your chances of getting stressed. Your kids will do well and turn out “good enough” when you calm down and allow yourself to be “fine enough” as a parent. Motherhood is not easy so no way will it ever be perfect, so loosen up and live and let live. As long as you are trying your best is all that matters and you'll actually be able to parent better if you chill out a bit.
3. Dedicate a Day To The Kids
When motherhood leaves you exhausted you can easily become detached from your minis and from mothering with intent. Learn to switch off from the negativity and stresses and fous on enjoying your children through play, discussions and outings. I propose switching off on a Saturday and making this a work, negativity, and stress free day.
4. Work Around The Mini
If you're running a business or working from home and on top of that you are parenting alone then the pressure can be really high at times. If you're like me and work from your kitchen table with a 2 year old in tow - plan your day strategically around work and your child. Follow your childs peaks and dips during the day. When are their nap times? What time are they most settled? What shows do they love the most that will fully engage them while you have a 10 min Skype call? Work it all out. It will be crucial to maximising your day.
5. Parent YOUR Way
The do's and don'ts of parenting are all subject to the individual in my opinion. If you want your child to be vegan, choose to not give medicine, let them watch what they want (within reason of course) then they are all decisions that you should make. As long as your child is not coming to harm a s a result of your actions, then parent your way. Advice is always good, but remember advice is usually administered based upon that persons personal experiences.
6. This Too Shall Pass
Remember your mini's will not be mini's forever, so keep in mind that the sleepless nights, tantrums and all round fiasco will not last forever. There will eventually come a time when you look back and may miss these days, so do not get too worked up about the present, it will all pass.