I feel like teenagers get a bad rep. I’ve even been guilty of saying, “Oh, good luck” when someone tells me they have teenage children. But as for me, you don’t have to ask my mom. I’ll be honest with you. I wasn’t the best teenager. My mom didn’t like me for most of my teenage years and, sometimes, she still doesn’t! It’s normal because, just as much as we are our parents’ children, we are people trying to figure ourselves and our lives out. The same goes for our children; toddler, pre-teen, and teenage.
It’s normal to not like your kids all the time. You’re not always going to see eye-to-eye, they’ll question authority, and, quite frankly, they’ll do some downright stupid things. It’s a part of life. What you have to remember is that your kids are learning what life is all about. They’re still trying to figure out who they are, what they want to do with their life, etc.
Don’t forget puberty! Puberty is a very scary process that sometimes brings out the worst in both parent and child.
All of these very normal aspects of life can make us annoyed, angry, stressed, and just leave us not liking each other. And that’s totally fine. On top of all of that, remember that they’re people. Just like us adults, our children go through things that they don’t tell anyone about. We place such high standards on them and, sometimes, forget that things can get overwhelming. There are so many things to consider when dealing with any relationship; these are just a few.
If you always got along with your kids, there’d be a few eyebrows raised followed by tons of questions & requests on how you actually make that happen. The reality is that never happens. You don’t always like your friends, family members, coworkers, spouse, or partner. Why would you put such an impossible belief on the relationship you have with your children?
When you find yourself not getting along with your kids or just not liking certain things, address them. Whether you confront them head on or take some time to think about things before you talk it out, you need to address it.
Think about how you could’ve done things differently, how your child could’ve acted differently, and address the situation carefully because it’s very easy for a child to feel like they’re being attacked and once someone gets defensive, it’s very easy for their perception of the message you’re trying to communicate to be taken the wrong way & be perceived as an issue you may have with their personality which, regarding children, can make them question themselves.
Just remember that nobody’s perfect, you’re not always going to be on the same page, and that’s perfectly fine. The way you move forward from those situations will serve as lessons learned and will form stronger bonds.
Author: Jewel Newsome