Becoming a mum is tough, whether it's for the first time or the third time, it is so important to have a support network around you. That support network can come in many forms, whether that is family, friends, mummy groups, healthcare professionals or online support through social media. We aren’t meant to parent alone; we need help, support and people just to have a good moan with when things are getting tough.
93% of new mums feel lonely at some point and it is upsetting just how isolated you can feel as a new mum. One support network that is so important is that of your ‘mama tribe’. Mum friends who you will need in your life to help you navigate the ever-changing waters of parenting.
So why exactly is a Mama Tribe so important?
1. They get what you are going through - That 1am feed, 3am feed, 5am feed when the house is quiet and everyone else is asleep. They are awake with you, messaging whilst you feed and hoping the little one goes back to sleep. They will see you through the bad days and the good days, be there when you just need a rant or someone to offload too. They will be the ones that will have your back, that won’t judge your parenting decisions, that will be their to offer help in a heartbeat and will be the ones cheering you on telling you that you are doing great!
2. Other people may drift away – It becomes more difficult to see everyone you saw when your little one arrives and not everyone is ‘up’ for doing child friendly things. You may find some of your pre-baby friends drift apart from you and so its important to have others there that are going through exactly what you are too. People who understand when you can’t make it because your little one hasn’t napped or is screaming the house down or when you turn up with a messy bun, no makeup and yesterdays clothes.
3. They will force you to leave the house – From play dates, to coffee dates to just needing to see something else other than the same four walls of your house. Your mama tribe will become the people you spend a lot of time with, especially whilst on maternity leave. Some days you won’t feel like leaving the house (which is totally okay) but they will be there on the days that you do need to get out. Your mama tribe will be there to do fun things with, to go to the zoo, go to park or to soft play and the not so fun things, like jabs and dealing with poo explosions and tantrums. They will also be there to help you make the most out of your maternity leave too!
4. They are there to celebrate each and every milestone – Every milestone no matter how small you’ll want to celebrate and frankly probably no one but yourself as a parent will be that bothered. Having a mama tribe to celebrate each of these little milestones with is super important. From their first time your baby nearly rolled over, to them nearly saying mama for the first time or putting their arms out to be picked up - your mama tribe will be one of the first people you message!
5. Most importantly they are there cheering you on – Being a mum is tough and that transition into becoming a parent can be totally overwhelming. Your mama tribe are the people you’ll share this with (without being worried of over sharing) and to admit that being a mum isn’t fun all the time. They will know exactly what to say when you feel like you are doing it all wrong and be there to tell you that you are doing an awesome job anyway!
I may only be 6 months into Motherhood but without my mama tribe these first 6 months would have been so much tougher than they were. I know that even through the times when I am stressed, feel alone and am exhausted I have some wonderful friends who are there for me, with support and no judgement whatsoever.
So if you are a mum to be or a new mum, please make sure you socialise with other mums and mums to be. It can be totally nerve-racking, I suppose a bit like dating, but once you get chatting you’ll feel so much better. You already know that you have something in common – you’ve both got babies and who knows you could totally hit it off. So go to those baby groups, take your toddler to soft play; go to that local mum group. I promise you finding your mama tribe is totally worth it!
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