Navigating Dating as a Single Mama pt.3 - Letting Reality Settle In
Hopefully you’ve figured out who (or if!) you’ll be dating ‘cause soon after the first dates & mini-honeymoon phase comes the reality of what parenting is. And, for someone that hasn’t had children or a deeper experience with children, the reality of your parent-life can come as a shock. This is where you’ll get to see if he’s really a good fit.
I once read about this mom that called her then-boyfriend right in the thick of chaos going on at her house. While her kids were sick & vomiting, she called him over to her house and said, “If you’re really serious about this, this is what it really is.” He saw how stressed & tired she was, told her to go back to bed, and cleaned up & took care of the kids. I’m not saying that that’s the extent your guy has to go to but it’s important for him to understand that parenthood takes patience, consistency, sincerity, love, and a genuine want to be there.
The beauty of this phase is that you can sit back & see if your children really like your guy, and watch them form bonds. But if it doesn’t work out, that’s fine too. Things don’t always turn out to be what we had hoped & planned, and that’s just a normal part of life. Hopefully, your children didn’t get too attached because at that point it’ll be time to do some damage control & start the subtle detachment process. All of this is fine because things happen and not everyone sticks around as long as we’d like them to, but it’s also very important for your children to understand that this is no fault of their own.
Whether you guys work out or not, everything will work out for you and your kids. You have to believe and understand that so you can firmly communicate it to your babies. Such is life, mama! Just keep on moving. Whoever is meant to be in your & your kids lives will be and who’s not, won’t. Everything will work out in the end.
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