After becoming a single mother at the age of 32 I felt a debilitating stigma attached to single motherhood, so much so that I stayed with an abusive ex partner out of fear of becoming another statistic. 5 years on and damn do I wish I had made the break sooner. All the things I had been fed by media, family and friends started to erase once I realised they were actually not true. So, here are 5 myths about single motherhood that you may have heard and that you most certainly need to trash.
Men Will Not Want To Date You
This by far is one of the craziest statements I have ever heard. So you have kids, you meet a guy, you tell him you are a mother and he runs a mile. Now that's not to say that some might, the real men however, who are mature and level headed will stick around to get to know you and if that works out well will then want to meet your kids.
Being A Single Mother Is A Stigma
Being a single mother is not a curse and quite frankly should stop being frowned upon. Yes it is hard as you're carrying double the load and without family support it can be even harder, but there are aslo some benefits to being a single parent. You are in control, there is less chance of children witnessing domestic arguments, there are no negotiations, and you can walk around in sweats all day, now that's a bonus! As with everything there are pros and cons. Try looking at the positives of single parenting as opposed to worrying about the cons.
You Will Never Find Love
Love finds you when you least expect it and will find all of us if we believe and truly want it. Single mothers included. Yes your children are an extension of you, but you are also an individual and are totally lovable.
Single Mothers Can Not Succeed
There is a strength that most single mothers pull out when they are down to their last bit of patience, energy and emotions. One that is totally transferrable in working life. Most women who suffer from adversity grow and become stronger form their experiences and a mother who is alone can succeed once she is determined and motivated enough to do so. With the right support and spirit we can all become anything we want.
Life Begins Once Your Children Have Left Home
Hold on. So you mean to tell me that a mother can only start truly living once her children are over the age of 16. Well I certainly do not have sixteen years to wait twiddling my thumbs. Life begins when you want it to begin. Children or no children. Start living your life to the fullest there is so much opportunity out there. Plan a get away to somewhere unusual with the kids, create memories and live.